Seven habits that leads you to hate yourself & how to unlearn them (self gaslighting)

Self hating or Self gaslighting includes underestimating your own self reinforced by daily activities and under appreciating one’s own emotions. Self gaslighting makes you feel insecure and unfit to happier or celebrating moments.

When you gaslight someone, you bully them, you make a person or an entity, (in order to gain more power) question their reality, which leads to negative consequences on the psyche as well as physical health.

Similarly, if you gaslight your own self, you’re letting yourself down and bullying your own self, which often leads to outrageous outcomes.

“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you”

Here are eight symptoms of self gaslighting

Your emotions doesn’t seem valid to you and you constantly doubt your feelings

You gaslight yourself when you do not value your emotions. You’re not valuing your emotions which may put you in distress and depression, you may feel depressed about feeling the way you are but it’s okay.

Just because someone gone through worst times than you, you’re emotions doesn’t become less valid.
Value your emotions

You feel apologetic and chaotic

Sometimes you don’t know what you feel or you may don’t want to feel the way you are, at the moment and hence you feel apologetic for it. However, it could be the result of constant stress and mental health neglect.

You underestimate your ideas and less frequently believe in yourself

There are times when you found your self distracted and unable to do your work with determination and motivation, which could lead you to feel stupid about yourself even if you’re doing well.
You may unable to differ the right and the wrong things.

If you feel things this way, try to take a break from everything, work, social media, your daily schedule.
During that time, focus on your mental health. Make a uplifting and positive routine and follow it until you become habitual of it.

IG – @only.mental_health_

You’ve become so much judgemental about yourself

If you constantly judge yourself or underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. Thus, leading you to be so hard on yourself.

It’s okay to feel confused but when you feel that, you should allow yourself to heal without letting someone else’s deeds interfering your healing process.

“It’s not what you are, holding you back it’s what you think you are not”


Instead of focusing on what people are good at, focus on what you can create.

You’re not giving yourself enough time to heal

If you’re rushing yourself to heal and taking enough time to heal, you’re more likely to develop stress and anxiety. Healing takes time, and once you’re totally healed, you find yourself in a state to cope with negativity.

To let yourself heal, you must stop being cruel on yourself, i.e, if you’re not in a mood to join the party with your friends, don’t push yourself, say no, it’s ok to have enough sleep and not staying up late. It’s ok if you don’t feel positive.

When you’re healing, do things that will make you feel ‘happy’ and ‘comfortable’
Make space for new things.
Surround yourself with good people.
And let those people in.

You’re being hard on yourself to fulfill people’s unreasonable demands

“You aren’t required to set yourself on fire, to keep others warm”

When you gaslight yourself, who are tend to care about people more than your own self. As you already don’t trust your guts, you let people take advantage of you. It all depends on the surrounding you’re living in, if the people are good and kind, they’ll help you go through it, if you don’t find them.

Communicate. Communicate in the society, there are communities that motivates you and supports you.

What is emotional abuse and how to get over it :

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Here’s how to cope with insomnia :

You assume the worst / negative things about yourself

Assuming the worst could become one common reason for self gaslighting.
Happiness starts from the moment when you believe in yourself. Be aware of your emotions and don’t allow them to process if they discouraged you.
To stop this, you should hope.

How to unlearn it

Toxic relationships

The one reason that encourages self gaslighting is the company of toxic people. Toxic relationships continually underestimates you and make you feel worthless.

A toxic friend is a jealous friend, who supports antipathy and who, never in the million years will want you to go ahead than them.

Toxic relationships makes you committed to wrong things and let you stuck on  negativity.

For instance, a toxic friend will never tell you “It’s okay if you lose, you tried your best and I’m proud of you” Or “It’s okay, we’ll sort it out together” instead they’ll tell you “You’re such a loser, I didn’t expected this from you” Or “It’s your mistake, you always messed up things” When you hear similar statements from people around, it’s an ALERT to give up on them immediately.

In a toxic relationship, you’re more likely to be compared and judged, or you may become judgemental about your own self, which could damage your self esteem, self confidence and lead you to anxiety.

Self acceptance

Before all of this, self acceptance is-h most important thing.

Self acceptance refers to accepting our own self, as we actually are and feel satisfied about it.

To do this, you can practice self help prompts, like

• Things you love about yourself
• Best things you did for yourself
• Ten times when you help someone
• Ways how you love yourself
• Six times when you made someone happy
• Things people love about you
• Habits that make you proud of yourself
• The most happiest moments of your life
• Moments that make / made positive changes in your life

The others way that can make you feel better about yourself is,
You can ask your friends, colleagues or people (with whom you work) to mention things that they like about you, or your habits that they appreciate.

But, before this, ensure you’re asking this question to a right person, as “toxic friends” Often hunt for opportunities to hurt you.

Work on Yourself

Suppose if you do your dinner after everyone, or alone while binge watching invite your family or friends to dinner with.

Spend time with them. Spending time with people helps us to reduce overthinking and makes us feel better more often.

Be optimistic. You don’t have to think much about anything, just do it. Don’t think about the consequences snd regardless of anything, appreciate yourself.

Most of the times, we do a lot of good things for ourselves as well as others but we never appreciate that. I bet once in your lifetime you would’ve help an old lady to fetch her grocery bags, or helping a friend in his work, or surprising someone for their birthday!

There are infinite moments you’ve spent making the situation better, don’t neglect it and celebrate!

Forgive yourself

When you learn to forgive yourself, you put one step closer to self acceptance.

There’s often a kind of guilt or regret remains which makes us anxious. Initially, forgive yourself and apologize. Apologize to your mistakes and communicate with people.

We do not have a badge or a label stick on the forehead which could display our emotions  ( Imagine if we would have them) So, Open up, if you open up to people, they’ll be able to co-operate with you and help you.

By being vulnerable you give them an alert of your sanity which makes them easier to support you.

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